


In Therapy

by december13



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Brienne is purrfect, Brienne is the Best, F/M, Fluff, I am not a unicorn, Jaime is an idiot, Meet-Cute, Writers are still unicorns in disguise, but I'm a willing apprentice, not as big as Tyrion, stuff like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-12 07:48:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10485843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/december13/pseuds/december13
Summary: *sigh* Not good at summaries.There's this thing with mistaken identity. Could it be that Tyrion is at fault?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ellethom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellethom/gifts).



> Still not native. Still not good at this writing business. Not beta-ed. Why? Because I feel silly to ask... Apparently, I don't feel silly to post... Turn a blind eye to many grammar errors, please! I'll get better one day... maybe...
> 
> *****  
> Elle, this one is for you!  
> For being amazingly majestic unicorn, for doing your 30-something prompt ficlets, for choosing even the bad ones I've prompted, for actually getting me out of funk with your talent and writing and fluff and... other stuff...
> 
> It's not as nearly as good as yours are. 
> 
> And, yes, our muses are connected! Somehow.

He was looking around the office trying to figure out why he let himself fall for his brother's plea for help. He was beyond livid, and yet, he knew that he had to try and keep his cool. God knows what the head doctor would poke out if he wasn't careful. 

"Mr Lannister", very feminine voice asked him. He was met with the bluest of blue he had ever seen - blue eyes, blue veins clearly visible on her forehead, a side of her neck, collarbone, leading right to where her breasts were hidden with a very blue silk shirt. Quick nod to show that, yes, he was Mr Lannister, but words failed him. 

"I am Dr Tarth, and I'll be your psychotherapist. Everything you say is for my ears only and it's said in confidence. Will you tell me why are you here?" 

"Because it seems I have a... problem." 

"A problem? What kind of problem", she asked professionally, but not coldly. 

His inner brother was fighting his inner sinner. He was there to help his sibling, not to drool all over the therapist with the bluest of eyes and the bluest of veins in the bluest silk shirt... and long legs... and sexy, come-hither voice... 

"Well, it seems I drink a lot... And I... I ogle at women. And I make rude... sexual... comments... Or so I'm told", he couldn't hide a slight desperation in his voice. 

" _Or so you're told_ ", she wrote something in her notebook. "You don't agree with that assessment?" 

"I don't drink. A lot. I don't ogle at women... A lot... And I do not make rude, sexual comments." 

"No?" 

"Hell, if I was doing that, the first thing I would ask you is where do you want me and how... And look, you have a bed in here." 

"That's a sofa." 

"For what I'm willing to do to you, it's a bed!" 

"Mr Lannister, you should refrain from that kind of comments." 

"Right, yes. Refrain... Sorry, one thing! Why should I do that? I'm in therapy. It's all hush-hush and confidential. So, if I want to fuck you or wish to do so, shouldn't I be able to tell you?"

"Yes, it's confidential. And you're in therapy. But that doesn't mean you have to say everything and anything without, at least, a little bit of a decorum." 

"Right. Decorum... Ok, so, Dr Tarth, I want and wish to take you to bed and lick every single part of your body, count how many freckles you have on your left breast and on your right ass cheek, and..."

 

****************************************************

 

Phone was buzzing too loudly and too persistently. 

"Yes?" 

"What the actual fuck, Jaime?!" 

"Shut up, Tyrion." 

"Margaery called. She's postponing the wedding for, and I quote, couple of months, until you finish with therapy, Tyr", he mimicked a high pitch and girly voice. "I asked you to go to the fucking therapy and charm the pants off the fucking therapist, and instead I've got my wedding postponed _until you finish with therapy, Tyr_?!" 

"Tyrion, please, shut up!" 

"Jaime..." 

"Little brother, I love you, but look at it like a cosmic balance. You wanted to screw over Margaery and..." 

"And I've got screwed instead... Well, is she at least worth it?" 

"Excuse me?" 

"Therapist. Is she worth it? I know you, big brother. You've messed up, probably unconsciously, because you have a hots for that woman. Which is fine. It's been a very dry year for you. _Very dry_. Not a single _wet_ -" 

"Shut up, Tyrion!" 

"Oh, this is going to be fun, fun, fun. When do you tell her that you were posing as me? Before or after you get her to bed? You should do it before, because your _mood_ would go _down_ the moment you hear _oh, yes, Tyrion, faster, Tyrion, just that spot_ -" 

"Tyrion!" 

"Something like that", he chuckled. "Just so we're clear, you better fuck her brains out, I do have a reputation to uphold." 

Silence followed up the end of conversation. Tyrion waited for a bit and just when he was debating to put the phone down, Jaime startled him with a laugh of his own. 

"Tyrion? A question. You asked me to pose for you, to pretend that I'm you 'cause Marg insisted that you should go and see a therapist." 

"I thought we had that covered. Not that you were much of a help." 

"To the therapist that happens to be her friend?" 

"And apparently, one of our bridesmaids." 

"Aha... Margery's friend and bridesmaid... Woman that is going to stand at your wedding, next to Margery, and probably _not notice_ the man her friend is saying her vows to, is _not_ Tyrion Lannister she's met in therapy?" 

"FUCK!!!"

**Author's Note:**

> Well, there was a "meet" part. I'm not so sure about the "cute" part. And maybe there was too much of Tyrion/Jaime conversation for a fic about Jaime and Brienne.  
> My talent will catch up with my muse one of these days. *winks and kisses all of you*


End file.
